Real Conversations

I took a risk tonight as I drove home from cheer practice with my daughter (yes, even though competition is behind us, our football team made it to playoffs, so there are a few more weeks).

I brought up how some of her responses to me as her coach made me feel. Didn’t want to fight about anything, was too tired to be defensive…just wanted to let her know how her actions affected me emotionally. I was honest without accusing, a rare moment for me.

I reassured her first, of my appreciation for the opportunity to coach her, to see her grow as an athlete, to be a part of her world. The time commitment was great, but it was worth it to be there for her in this chapter of her life. I was able to articulate how rough it had been though, with some of her interactions with me.

She apologized, I forgave her and we were able to move on. I felt like bricks fell off my heart and I no longer wanted to avoid her company. Our relationship was restored and free to move on.

We talked about how good it is to not have “taboo topics” with each other. Even as a Jr. High student, she sees friendships where friends can’t be honest with each other about hurt feelings…things are too fragile.

I’m glad that I have the privilege of modeling how to share the messy stuff of relationships, also known as feelings and not collapse into a sniveling pile. I’m grateful that I can give relational feedback in a loving, respectful way. I’m especially grateful for the counselors who have taught me this skill so I can pass it along to another generation.

Real conversations about real feelings are required for genuine relationship to exist.

By decarter in God stuff, growing up, mothering

Tags: #novemberblogfest